Sargon-and-Air-Horn

Say What?

Someone’s hiding in the bushes with an air horn!

Yesterday, we wrote the first installment, in a two-part (published tomorrow) series, of our cover story about the crazy shit that’s been happening over in Parkland.

For those just tuning in, here’s a quick breakdown:

Farms + McMansions + Tax Liens + Scaring The Shit Out of Little Kids = MAOS Gold Mine

As traffic has been off-the-schnizel (thought we were going to say off-the-ranch didn’t ya?), we wanted to post these BSO Event Reports (here and here) which didn’t make into Bob Norman’s story.

No surprise there…

Teaser alert: Those in the audience bothered by folks hiding in bushes, walking around like a Ninja dressed all in black, or the training of bulls are best suited to click here (NSFW)

BSO Event Report #PD11-12-00098

The first report (dated 12/03/2011) is a writeup about a dust-up over at the Pine Hollow Equestrian Center.

There was a report of a person hiding in the nearby bushes sounding an air horn. There was concern due to the fact that there were several small children riding horses, and that the noise would startle the horses and possibly cause injury.

That resident has been identified as Barry Laramee.

- BSO

Shrubbery?

This call, odd as it seems, wasn’t the first time someone was seen over there, walking manically up and down the road, tooting an air horn, scaring the living crap out of the little ones. Children, by the way, said to range from the ages of six to 10 years old.

But wait, it gets weird(er)sm.

During the BSO investigation, Laramee admitted the horn blowing was used to “train his steer.”

Having run many times with the bulls in Pamplona, let me say that’s not a smart thing to do.

Laramee was reported to be “agitated, confrontational and sick of the court system.”

And also apparently sick of paying his taxes, given the number of IRS liens on his house.

Barry also wanted to throw down with an employee of Pine Hollow.

Tell you what tough guy, I’ll step in for the little kids. Give me a ring, and you and I will get in the ring. After you blow your airhorn, you can blow me.

Finishing out the first report, the BSO deputy noted:

[T]his incident and others are intentional acts to agitate and upset the routine at Pine Hollow.

BSO Event Report #PD12-03-00327

The second report (download) gets even stranger — if consider “a woman dressed all in black screaming at children who were riding horses” as strange.

We do. We also consider that possibly menopausal in nature.

Once again, it’s the same scene — frightened little ones on horseback, the Laramee whack-a-doodles, and BSO providing us with the coverage:

I spoke with Barry Laramee who said he had just got home approximately 20 minutes ago. I explained to Barry what the allegations are and then asked to speak to his wife. Barry said he would not get his wife and that she will not be coming to the door.

While still out in front of Barry’s house, Barry and his wife came outside and started to walk South on NW 81 Terrace. I pulled up and asked the W/F for her name and Barry replied Laura. Speaking directly at Laura I asked her if she would please stop yelling at the children and she replied that she only asked them to stop making so much noise. Barry then motioned to his wife to stop talking.

- BSO

Chaz Stevens

Chaz Stevens

Professional Troublemaker
Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has been appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.
Chaz Stevens

@TweetsByMAOS

According to John Stewart, I am the General Patton of the War on Xmas. Father, Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole. Professional troublemaker.
Three things about Deerfield Beach. http://t.co/OBx1dsC8VH - 6 hours ago
Chaz Stevens
Chaz Stevens

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Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has been appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.

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