hookers

Dead Hooker Storage

But don’t be hating on Larry Tibbs here, as this one falls squarely at Allen’s dainty little feet.

We had no idea it was going to be this ugly. Hate to say we told you so, but we told you so. Someone hand us the beer goggles.

[cleeng_content id="192819306" description="Why stop now? It's just getting interesting!" price="0.99" referral="0.10"]Finally making the light of day, the numbers from the Lauderdale Lakes FY11 audit are brutal:

  • General Fund balance: ($4.8M)
  • Overall balance: ($3.6M)

($4.8M) as in negative four point eight million dollars.

“The 2012 budget is balanced, the budget is good.”

Really? WTH man? Are you guys blowing hazing each other?

MAOS knew better.

Um, pardon me :ME:, but your figure was off by $4.6M. Why don’t you move your solar powered Hello Kitty calculator closer to the desk lamp.

Times like these my Nana would say, “f*** me.”

Here’s to another “State of Financial Emergency” notice!

Remember back in the day (say like a week ago) when :JA: was marketing the city’s vaunted long-range financial “my bad” plan?

  1. Starting FY12 with $200K in the General Fund
  2. Seriously extending the BSO and CRA payment terms
  3. Refinancing all city debt
  4. Selling off all assets

Seems they forgot to include being in the hole a couple of million dollars.

Doh!

But don’t be hating on Larry Tibbs (left in 2010) here, as this one falls squarely at Allen’s (there since 2001) dainty little feet.

Now, I know Jon likes to travel far and wide with female staffers on the public dime, but are we to assume he had no culpability?

“We’re doing what we’re supposed to,” said Commissioner Patricia Hawkins-Williams, “We’re doing better than what we were doing this time last year.”

Is she high?

Upside down $5M (for just this year and not counting the others), an inept City Manager, an incompetent Finance Director, staff bailing out, and that’s doing better?

All that’s missing is a few dead hookers and the trunk of a Caddy.

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Chaz Stevens

Chaz Stevens

Professional Troublemaker
Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has been appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.
Chaz Stevens

@TweetsByMAOS

According to John Stewart, I am the General Patton of the War on Xmas. Father, Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole. Professional troublemaker.
What's the policy for giving shit away? http://t.co/v855n3fhii - 11 hours ago
Chaz Stevens
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Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has been appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.

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