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Dear Inspector General People(s);

I ask you to choose any 11 of the following (it’s okay to be redundant):

1. Bullshit
2. Poser
3. Fraud
4. Thief
5. Hypocrite

And here’s the question — as posed as a problem.

I’ve reviewed the audio from the City of Lauderdale Lakes September 25th meeting and compared it against the October 9th minutes approved. Guess what? Not even close.

Look folks, I’m not an expert at Board minutes, but when it comes to public records, I’m the shiznit. In fact, I’m one of the few private individuals on the prestigious First Amendment Foundation Citizen Brigade. And because of this, I have to say — I smell a rat here.

Given all of the problems I’ve encountered over in Lauderdale Lakes, I firmly and resoundingly believe City Manager Jonathan Allen has intentionally engaged in criminal activity by destroying, withholding, and modifying public documents. In this matter, I believe Allen has conspired with certain colleagues and an elected official.

As I am not a pussy, let me name some names.

Eric Haynes (tax cheat), Marie Elianor (retard), Celeste Dunmore (tool), and that idiot woman in charge of HR. Sorry, her name slips me at the moment — just remember it rhyming with turd.

And speaking of turds floating in a fish bowl, year after year, I’d be remiss not to mention James Brady.

Anywho…

There’s a coverup going on over in Lauderdale Lakes. You see, Allen doesn’t want you to learn about the staffer(s) he’s banged over the years. The lies he’s perpetuated. The careers he’s destroyed. He’s afraid you’re going to learn he’s actually blistering fucking incompetent.

As if that’s a news alert.

But more than that, he’s afraid of me. Petrified, and with good reason as I singlehandedly slay dragons. (Al Capellini‘s trial starts next week and with his conviction, I’ll be 3 for 3).

Scared shitless, because he knows I am gunning for his job.

And, in the end, when I am done with chewing up Little Jon Allen, he’s going to be hard pressed to get a job as a WalMart greeter.

Just ask Larry Deetjen how tough it’s been for him to find a new job.

On this, you have my word.

Now, do me a big favor, and go kick him right in the nuts.

Happy Hunting.

ChazStevens, Genius

PS What was your answer(s)?