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December 18, 2012 3:06 pm
LAUDERDALE LAKES --
To: Timothy Donnelly
Broward State Attorney’s Office
Hey Mr. Donnelly;
With the Festivus Holiday fast approaching (December 23) and the number of shopping days dwindling, I’m wonder if you’d be wiling to lend a helping hand.
You see, my original plan was to buy City Manager
jon allen frat bastard a prize belt (model: La Strap On, Low Rise) to show my appreciation for all he’s done to the residents of Lauderdale Lakes. And, as an added bonus(er), he and his buddy eric haynes noob could use it when finding themselves way far from home, together, and on a mission critical NFBPA trip.
But (pun!), that plan’s fallen through, so onto the next great idea, and that’s where you come in.
Can you just go arrest that shit of a thousand wipes?
Much appreciated and Happy Festivus to you.•••
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