LAUDERDALE LAKES --

Looks like the residents of Lauderdale Lakes won this round on the EMS Billing.

jon allen frat bastard, thru his proctologist mentor eric haynes noob, wanted to bill residents for EMS transport — after they already charged via the tax bill and Fire Assessment fees.

And get this — DeadBeatDad wanted to retro bill back to 2006.

No really … what the fuck.

Editor’s note: As we believe Haynes does not live within the comfy confines of L’ Lakes, it’s no big deal to this limp dick big spender.

This ordiance, if there are enough signatures, goes on a Nov. 2013 ballot — costing $107,000. There was also talk of in addition to cutting two commission seats, they should nix the CM position (saving the aforementioned $160k per year).

Now that’s a project we can get behind!

Speaking of looking like you’re draggin’ ass, we hear that Finance Director marie elianor moroneconomics ain’t winning any Glamor Girls contests. We opine, having to carry Allen’s piss bucket, and the nonstop presentation of those bogus financial records, is taking its tool.

Suggestion to Marie: Hire a few more relatives.

RITTER / KIAR / RING / ABRUZZO ALERT!

The city’s holding a special meeting (Monday, March 18) … on the agenda, STOP THAT FUCKING AUDIT! The city’s game plan is send a letter to the LAC and Auditor General (remember Welcome Back Kotter’s Epstein’s note from Mom?) saying, “Look homey, it’s all good. We’ve checked the numbers out three times on our Hello Kitty calculator.”

The city wants the audit stopped at all costs — desperation is evident and it don’t smell like teen spirit!

State Rep. Hazelle “Is That $50,000 In Your Pocket” Rogers is said to be making the full court press.

Question: At what point does this become criminal collusion? Rogers, as you will recall, is under criminal investigation for accepting a $50,000 bribe birthday gift from the Dwight Stephenson Construction Company. For work done with the city’s CRA. The same CRA Rogers is trying to get everyone to STOP FUCKING LOOKING AT.

I am willing to bet Sen. Joe Abruzzo and Sen. Jeremy Ring ain’t that dumb.