COCONUT CREEK PD --

According to a tipster, “a number of Commissioners are confiding to those in their inner circle that unless Rivera makes a move on Mann in the near future, his demise is inevitable.” All this, concurring nicely with the discussions we’ve been having with various Creek elected officials.

To wit, there’s a movement afoot for a new sheriff in town, and his name ain’t Chief Mike MannNoLoveLost (MANBLA – So NSFW).

Good riddance we say. Fire him and his exorbitantly paid staff.

Editor’s Note: Put Lance Corporal McWhiteBread in charge — for the ultimate in comic relief!

For those in the audience still needing a reason why MANBLA needs to be shitcanned, we offer these two twelve words– Sgt. William “Good Chance He’ll Pop A Cap In Your Ass” Harrison.

As you will recall, we’ve written about the T-Mobile shooting, and since then we’ve learned a few things about Harrison.

1. He’s the only wanker in the department NOT RIFLE QUALIFIED. Seems the dude can’t hit a barn door and/or a paper Saddam target.
2. The review of the video dashboard camera indicates Harrison was pretty much out of harm’s way (perp car moved past him), and yet, Harrison continues to pepper the perps with rounds. One round permanently blinds some poor SOB sitting in the back seat.
3. Speaking of peppering the surrounding area with friendly fire, Harrison came about six inches from winging, and by winging I mean killing, another CCPD officer.
4. Talk about a real boner shrinker for office moral.
5. Dude plays WAY TOO MUCH Call Of Duty.

With bullets flying, an officer nearly killed in the line of duty, a victim shot blind, what does MANBLA do?

Does he order an investigation? Does he say, “What the fuck man! We need to get to the bottom of this … like pronto.” Or does he order some new flooring, expensive furniture, and the ultimate hot water heater?

Care to take a guess?

PS Editor’s Note: No dogs were harmed walked during the writing of this post.

Update:

We forgot to include those two cars, in two separate incidents, mistakenly shot by Harrison because he MISSED his intended target. Missed, as in COMPLETELY missed … Missed with a shotgun.

Speaking of shotguns.

(Worst case, you can always poke someone with it and fuck their shit up)