When Mayor McFuckMoreBullshitComingMyWay? gained a mulligan from the Florida Ethics Commission, she donated $1,500 of the $1,700 reimbursed. And, never one to miss an opportunity to demonstrate her nuttiness, resident Caryl “CreepyAsFuck” Berner wondered how much money MAOS cost the city with our various projects.
Ok, let’s see.
- Sylvia Poitier, Al Capellini, and Steve Gonot removed from office
- The Housing Authority has been completely revamped
- Anthony Davis out of the grant business
- and so on
Maybe she’s babbling about the Kessler investigation. A couple of thoughts on that — (a) I didn’t bring in Kessler, and (b) the Commission approved the funding.
And did you read the Kessler Report?
And speaking of funding… It was Berner who approved DBHA Board Lee Giannino‘s loan — a loan later found to be in violation of numerous Florida Statutes.
So please Caryl, shut the fuck up.
But wait Caryl, let’s make a wager!
I’d say put some money on the table, but since you’re on food stamps, I’m not sure how much free cash you have to spare.
So, let’s do this.
If I win, you’ll wear a “I Heart Chaz” shirt to every Commission meeting for the next year. And if I lose, I’ll set you up with the man of your dreams, former DBHA Commissioner Mike Weiss.
Mr. Andy Maurodis;
City Attorney, Deerfield Beach
As you know, my legal team and I are in the midst of putting the final touches on our lawsuit against the City — in the matter of Jean Robb and her seven emails worth of public records versus the State of Oh, You Have Got To Be Shittin’ Me.
Also, as you know, my team and I have a great track record at kicking the city’s hind-quarters.
Therefore, we’d like to offer you this one time plea-bargain, a gentleman’s way out of the upcoming ass-kicking coming your way.
We will consider the case resolved if the following conditions are met:
1. Federal Highway is renamed One Chaz Blvd.
2. Jean Robb immediately retires and moves to Scottsdale, or Jeddah.
3. The City starts celebrating Festivus, and that begins by installing Festivus Poles along the two-miles stretch of our beach.
4. All Festivus Poles must be purchased from The Church of Chaz.
5. John Grassi is excomunicated, a ball gag permanently installed in Caryl Berner’s cake hole, and an endless video loop of Sylvia Poitier exclaiming “that Damn Chaz Stevens” played in the central area of City Hall.
Otherwise, David Frankel’s gonna eat your lunch.