Raging!

Chaz StevensPoliticsLeave a Comment

raging

Today, we’ve reviewed the L’ Lakes City Charter (Sec. 2-212) as it pertains to the Powers and Duties of the City Manager.

[cleeng_content id="857964140" description="Why stop now? It's just getting interesting!" price="0.99" referral="0.10"]Let’s see how :JA: stacks up shall we?

Requirement See that the laws and ordinances of the city are enforced.

Grade: Success!

Reasons: No worries about “bid splitting” when our Daddy was once an alright lawyer.

Requirement: Appoint, suspend, demote and/or remove any subordinate officers and employees under the city manager’s jurisdiction in accordance with the Charter.

Grade: Bed of Roses!

Reasons: Allen’s really good at firing people who are a threat to his job, don’t … er… travel on business trips anymore, or (c) have the poor judgement to be born Caucasian.

Requirement: Exercise control, direct and supervise all activities of the municipal government, except as otherwise provided in the Charter.

Grade: Tip of the hat!

Reasons: When it comes to exercising control, Allen has a near paranoid ability.

Requirement: Attend all meetings of the city commission with right to take part in the discussion, but without having a vote.

Grade: Flying F***ing Colors!

Reasons: Allen has no need for a vote, as long as his buddy Assless Chaps is on the scene.

Requirement: Recommend to the city commission for consideration such measures as the city manager may deem necessary or expedient in the interests of the city.

Grade: éclat!

Reasons: If by interests of the city, you mean business trips to DC…

Requirement: Keep the city commission fully advised as to the financial conditions and needs of the city, and at such times and in such detail as may be specified submit to the city commission for its consideration and approval an annual budget and mid-year budget.

Grade: Bingo was his name-o!

Reason: See Elianor, Marie.

Requirement: Advise and consult with all officers and official heads of the several departments of the city relative to the affairs of such departments.

Grade: Big Hit!

Reason: Please see the enclosed Non Disclosure Agreements.

Requirement: Investigate and determine whether purchases of current supplies and contractual services are made in accordance with regulations prescribed by Charter and ordinances, and whether competitive conditions are maintained in a fair and impartial manner.

Grade: Gran Slam!

Reason: That’s one hell of a nice pavement job at the library.

Requirement: Permit no contract to be let for the construction of public improvements, unless same is approved by the city commission after public advertisement for bids, except for emergency construction.

Grade: Lap of Luxury!

Reason: Have you tried rollerblading over at the library?

Requirement: Prepare and submit to the city commission, in conjunction with the city auditor, after the close of each fiscal year, a complete report of the operation and business of the city for the preceding year.

Grade: Bloody Brilliant!

Reason: You know that report has gotz to be good, they’ve spent an extra half-year on it!

Requirement: The city manager shall be authorized to approve any expenditure for any of the city departments, including the making of contracts, not to exceed a duration of three years, in a sum not to exceed $25,000.00; provided, however, that any contract exceeding a sum of $25,000.00 irrespective of duration shall require commission approval.

Grade: Park Place!

Reason: That $25,000.00 limit isn’t US Dollars, it’s actually Galactic Credit Standard (from Star Wars)… Which, roughly translated, means $1B dollars in our terms.

Requirement: The city manager shall be responsible for the receipt and safekeeping of city funds, and the city manager shall see that such funds shall be deposited and maintained in one or more depositories, as provided by state law.

Grade: Hand Job Deluxe!

Reason: Allen’s financial prowess has the city with little to no money, thereby removing the concern about safekeeping.[/cleeng_content]

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Chaz Stevens

Chaz Stevens

Professional Troublemaker
Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has been appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.
Chaz Stevens

@TweetsByMAOS

According to John Stewart, I am the General Patton of the War on Xmas. Father, Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole. Professional troublemaker.
A GoFundMe fund raiser for a Delray boy with autism http://t.co/0M0iR6SOCa - 9 hours ago
Chaz Stevens
Chaz StevensRaging!