Minimum acceptable requirements. #FAILED.

Chaz StevensPolitics

apollonius_graph

For nearly the last year, we’ve been bitching moaning complaining patiently arguing against the hiring of :ME:.

[cleeng_content id="947750215" description="Why stop now? It's just getting interesting!" price="3.49" referral="0.10"]Along the way, we’ve been stonewalled by Lauderdale Lakes ($90 in fees) requesting :ME2:’s resume. So, we moved to Plan B — let’s check out Oakland Park’s personnel file.

Health alert: please put down any milk you might be drinking.

Journey with us back to 2003, and as Budget Director, Elianor did not meet the following minimum acceptable requirements for:

  • Thoroughness
  • Judgment
  • Skills/Application of knowledge
  • Mastery of technical / professional techniques
  • Being on schedule
  • Decision making

Additionally, “she has problems with the accuracy of her numbers [and] assumptions made.” Her boss, Assistant City Manager Connie Hoffmann, also noted conclusions not supported by the data. Hoffman blasts Elianor for “inaccurate reports”, “mistakenly including non-existent revenue”, and “not having a full understanding of the City’s budget.” When questioned, Elianor came up short on appropriate revenue forecasting techniques.

F***, where have we heard this before?

Moving us next to Elianor’s 2006 career highlight – “the installment of new Comcast equipment.”

Zipidity f***ing do-dah.

No better in 2008, where we find her overseeing:

  • Oak Tree Golf Course – effects on 44th Street
  • Volunteer Group – public relations
  • Carter G. Woodson Festival (Black History Event) – City Manager Liaison

But wait you say, that was four years ago, a lot can change in that time.

Okie dokie.

So then, let’s look at some Elianor’s 2010 career highlights:

  • Calculates, figures, develops graphs, and other visual aids
  • Investigates and follow up on citizen inquiries and complaints
  • Assists with coordination and management of City Council agenda materials

Just in case you are thinking this is all one-sided, let’s hear from Marie W. Elianor herself:

Evaluation Comments
Evaluation Period May 5, 2009 to May 5, 2010

This is the second year in a row that seemingly my work performance is barely above “meets acceptable requirements, satisfactory”. Additionally, at an evaluation score of 3.4, I am the lowest performing member of the Senior Executive Team for a second year.

So, in summation.

Lauderdale Lakes Finance Director Marie Elianor:

  1. Did not meet minimum acceptable requirements as Oakland Park’s Budget Director
  2. Provided inaccurate reports
  3. Offered conclusions not supported by the data

On a positive note, she’s:

  1. Helped install Comcast gear
  2. Is really good with graphs and other visual aids
  3. Was on the Neighborhood Traffic Committee
  4. Pegs the needle on the Black Person O’ Meter

Elianor’s Oakland Park personnel file[/cleeng_content]

Chaz Stevens

Chaz Stevens

Professional Troublemaker
Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has been appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.
Chaz Stevens

@TweetsByMAOS

According to John Stewart, I am the General Patton of the War on Xmas. Father, Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole. Professional troublemaker.
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Chaz Stevens