Score 160,000 (dollars) for the average Lauderdale Lakes schmo!

Chaz StevensPolitics

AllenEpicFail

Looks like the residents of Lauderdale Lakes won this round on the EMS Billing.

:JA:, thru his proctologist mentor :EH:, wanted to bill residents for EMS transport — after they already charged via the tax bill and Fire Assessment fees.

And get this — DeadBeatDad wanted to retro bill back to 2006.

No really … what the f***.

Editor’s note: As we believe Haynes does not live within the comfy confines of L’ Lakes, it’s no big deal to this limp dick big spender.

This ordiance, if there are enough signatures, goes on a Nov. 2013 ballot — costing $107,000. There was also talk of in addition to cutting two commission seats, they should nix the CM position (saving the aforementioned $160k per year).

Now that’s a project we can get behind!

Speaking of looking like you’re draggin’ ass, we hear that Finance Director :ME: ain’t winning any Glamor Girls contests. We opine, having to carry Allen’s piss bucket, and the nonstop presentation of those bogus financial records, is taking its tool.

Suggestion to Marie: Hire a few more relatives.

RITTER / KIAR / RING / ABRUZZO ALERT!

The city’s holding a special meeting (Monday, March 18) … on the agenda, STOP THAT FUCKING AUDIT! The city’s game plan is send a letter to the LAC and Auditor General (remember Welcome Back Kotter’s Epstein’s note from Mom?) saying, “Look homey, it’s all good. We’ve checked the numbers out three times on our Hello Kitty calculator.”

The city wants the audit stopped at all costs — desperation is evident and it don’t smell like teen spirit!

State Rep. Hazelle “Is That $50,000 In Your Pocket” Rogers is said to be making the full court press.

Question: At what point does this become criminal collusion? Rogers, as you will recall, is under criminal investigation for accepting a $50,000 bribe birthday gift from the Dwight Stephenson Construction Company. For work done with the city’s CRA. The same CRA Rogers is trying to get everyone to STOP FUCKING LOOKING AT.

I am willing to bet Sen. Joe Abruzzo and Sen. Jeremy Ring ain’t that dumb.

Chaz Stevens

Chaz Stevens

Professional Troublemaker
Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has been appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.
Chaz Stevens

@TweetsByMAOS

According to John Stewart, I am the General Patton of the War on Xmas. Father, Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole. Professional troublemaker.
William Rankin update: What a crook. http://t.co/zn6FHvtYsQ - 11 hours ago
Chaz Stevens