Oh… Poor Little Jonathan.

madlibs

Dear Elected Officials of Lauderdale Lakes.

Apologies in advance for the popup math quiz … what is the importance of the number “23”?  It is:

  1. Michael Jordan‘s number with the Chicago Bulls
  2. It is a Wedderburn–Etherington number. (I have a degree in Mathematics and CompSci — in case you are wondering).
  3. The number of complaints I filed against Sylvia Poitier.

We’ll get to the answer in just a moment.

But before then, let me say on this coming Monday night, when the opportunity presents itself to take shots (cheap or otherwise) at me, I kindly encourage you to go for it with all your gusto. No really. Please. Dive right in.

Why is that? Glutton for punishment? Or someone who really love love loves the attention? All I ask is that you don’t botch up the spelling … it’s Stevens with a “v” and myactsofsedition.com. It would be a crying shame for all of that free publicity to be wasted!!!

Also, I’ve heard that your City Manager is looking a bit _________ (fill in the blank).

Oh… Poor Little Jonathan.

I wonder why he’s _________.  Is it because I have ________ and ______ and then really ______ the ___ing out of his _______?  With no reach-around I might add.

No, it couldn’t be that…

I mean, according to your own City Attorney, the SAO will only pay me “lip service”. By the way, I have a few of their private telephone numbers… How many of you do?

If you are wondering how this all ties in … The number “23”, Little Jonathan having a ________ day, and my connections to the SAO, here’s the answer…

An answer that starts with a question.

Have any of you read the just released OIG report that really tore into the City of Delray Beach?  Something to do with Waste Management and improper bidding practices?

When I read that report, I got to thinking…  Where have I heard this before???? It sounded familiar, but not quite. And then I realized… You nuckleheads one-upped Delray Beach by memorializing your own nonsense in an MOU.

I mean, is it possible to be any stupider?  No, don’t answer .. that’s just a rhetorical question…

So back to Poitier and her 23 complaints.

My Lauderdale Lakes count is up to three…  But I’ve added another couple to the list today, putting the running total at five. And when I am done (very soon) with your Stormwater funding fiasco, I’ll turn those goods over to my Federal OIG contact.  Who, interestingly enough, has also provided me with a private telephone number.

Before I take my leave, I’ll leave you with this thought.

When your City Attorney tells you to ignore me, I’d ignore him.  When your management team tells you they have everything under control, they don’t.  When a little boy’s high priced Daddy/attorney threatens me with a lawsuit, I say please take me to Court.  Pretty please.  My legal team and I are ready to make a circus out of this in Court.  (Plus, I’ve been itching to get on the Rachel Maddow show).

Poitier took 23…  Over in Lauderdale Lakes, we’re at 5 and counting…

Enjoy the weekend.

Chaz

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Chaz Stevens

Chaz Stevens

Professional Troublemaker
Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has been appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.
Chaz Stevens

@TweetsByMAOS

According to John Stewart, I am the General Patton of the War on Xmas. Father, Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole. Professional troublemaker.
RE: Conclusion of Notary Investigation of Jonda Joseph http://t.co/l3TmcTY3V9 - 2 days ago
Chaz Stevens