To: Jonathan Allen
City Manager
City of Lauderdale Lakes, FL

Dear Mr. City Manager;

Thank you for the great pleasure we both had I’ve had playing a one-sided game of Roshambo. Apologies in advance for seeming to always find your nuts right in front of my oncoming steel-toed boot.

Speaking of your nethers, seem like I am not the only nuking your nads … as your own Commission now takes exceptional glee in playing hackeysack with your ballsack.

Oh, and the word you are struggling for is “chasm”. Or is that “chazm”? As in the deep divide that you are now noticing between yourself and your bosses. You know things are bad when even the Vice-Mayor is considering a Post-Allen Era (shush now, that’s just between you and I).

Quick question: Is it also treason when your own elected officials reach out and speak to MAOS? Maybe your Minister of Defense and Ridiculous Statements can look into that for us.

Hell, at tonight’s meeting, even the City Attorney got doinked around a bit. As a professional ball buster, my opinion would to avoid any roshambo, ’cause he’s at the age where prostate issues become an issue and judging by the perpetual pinched look on his face, he doesn’t need any more excuses to pee sitting down.

To the need about hiring an auditor, two words. :Kessler International:.

And finally, as the crowd seemed interested in knowing the total cost of MannyGate, maybe Finance Director Marie Elianor can fire up her Financial Random Number Generator and crank out some nonsense.

Blogger out.

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Chaz Stevens

Chaz Stevens

Professional Troublemaker
Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has been appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.
Chaz Stevens


According to John Stewart, I am the General Patton of the War on Xmas. Father, Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole. Professional troublemaker.
When it comes to Satan and politics, Comm. Miller (Pastor Joe) has it right. - 16 hours ago
Chaz Stevens