09 Mar Hershey Highway

Tonight let’s talk HR… As in Human Resources.

Human Resources. A non-value added component of many large companies. Human resources is a worthless division in a company that often has power beyond its members’ level of intelligence. Human resources generally spends most of its time justifying its existence.

Now, I know what you are thinking … Chaz, you’re gonna go down the Hershey Highway same road lambasting … er … others for ****ing the hired help.

No Sir(ette). That’s not the case. Today it’s a different tale to be told.

You see, over the last month, I’ve heard different people(s) tell me “Jonathan Allen is an upgrade from Anita Fain-Taylor.”


Using such logic, one could debate,

Compared to Hitler, Mussolini was a good guy (and really helped the piano wire sales business).

I am not suggesting juxtaposing Allen against Hitler (Ah! I love Godwin’s Law). Or even Mussolini for that matter. Rather, the point here is when you start at the very lowest of the lows (Fain-Taylor), there is only pretty much one way to go.

Well, unless you are Allen, and then you quickly realize just how low he sets the bar. And to see just how low that bar is, allow me to paint you this picture.

Imagine Lauderdale Lakes circa 2010. A city in dire financial straights and in desperate need of experienced leadership. To stave off a catastrophe, the town’s leaders begin a nationwide search for a new City Manager.

Of course, all this is just plain fantasy.

They cast the net far and wide. Coast to coast. To and fro. And come back with the best of the best. Now, can you imagine, even for the briefest of moments, Allen having the winning hand?

Yeah, us neither.

But heck, let’s give him a (… er) leg up and stack the deck for him.

We’ll cast a net. Far and wide. Coast to coast. To and afro. (i.e. look for only black candidates).

Still think Allen would be the best choice? IMHO, he’d be lucky to be ranked #317 — right after the blind kid and the local scruffy homeless dog.

And speaking of dogs that can’t hunt, did you happen to catch the upcoming agenda for the Monday workshop? In response to the first OIG report, seems that City Commission will receive training from W. Underwood Enterprises.

Underwood, for those not in the know, is the very talented Finance Director for Oakland Park.

On a positive note, it will be the first time someone from Oakland Park arrives at City Hall with legitimate finance experience.  Unlike say the former Assistant to the Oakland Park City Manager and now Finance Disaster Director Marie Elianor.

While Elianor’s understanding on how the county tax collection system works blows, her recent hiring of a relative shows her grasp on nepotism is 5×5.

So, in conclusion… It seems that Allen is once again ****ing the hired help, ****ing the taxpayer, and/or ****ing the County.

Chaz Stevens

Chaz Stevens

Professional Troublemaker
Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.
Chaz Stevens


According to John Stewart, I am the General Patton of the War on Xmas. Father, Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole. Professional troublemaker.
A welcome to the new City Manager in L Lakes -- Mr. Kelvin Baker Sr. http://t.co/EHk4zRrxfu - 4 months ago
Chaz Stevens