US Representative Connie Butt-Nugget

Connie-Mack

It’s not our style to turn away at the first sign of adversity; in fact we find it oddly comforting to be told to f*** off see you next Tuesday have a nice day.

So we weren’t too bummed to learn the Federal Elections Commission lacked jurisdiction over Mack’s Mailer Miscarriage.

That’s to say, the FEC folks could not have opined as to the merits of our complaint.

And for those just shatnering in from Planet Xenu, here’s the back story.

According to published news reports, U.S. Rep. Connie Mack (R-FL) used Federal money to send brochures to individuals outside of his constituency, including voters in Hillsborough County, Miami Beach, and Sarasota. The mailers were sent the first week of May 2012. According to Mack’s own investigation, 64% of the mailers (57,827) were delivered to homes outside of his district.

When challenged, Mack placed the blame William McClintock & Associates, the firm hired to do the mailing. To make up for the mistake, that vendor issued a check to the US Treasury in the amount of $17,991.92.

– MAOS

Then, we thought to our bad selves, if it’s just an issue of jurisdiction, let’s find someone who will take our call find us funny accept our complaint(s).

Like say, the Office of Congressional Ethics and/or the Committee on House Administration (aka the Franking Committee).

And/or Scarlett Johansson…  Anybody got her number handy?

So off to Word we go, forever memorializing our thoughts:

Quite obviously, the penny-pinching Mack, and/or his campaign, should have reimbursed the Federal Government.

I therefore file this complaint against the butt-nugget Mack for campaign violations and failing to pay for his own promotional brochures.

Let’s see how we do with Round #2 of our complaining.

P.S. Show of hands… Who in the audience knew Mack’s “penny-pinching plan” was to get the taxpayer to pay for the mailings? By penny-pinching, I suppose that means keep Mack’s millions in his own checking account.

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Chaz Stevens

Chaz Stevens

Professional Troublemaker
Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has been appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.
Chaz Stevens

@TweetsByMAOS

According to John Stewart, I am the General Patton of the War on Xmas. Father, Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole. Professional troublemaker.
The Horrible State of the Lauderdale Lakes Union. http://t.co/QGy2m8VAno - 4 days ago
Chaz Stevens