13 Aug Chasing down some Public Records in Hollywood

For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been on a research mission, chasing down across the state, public records “for the last decade of any correspondence between City XYZ and Waste Management / Wheelabrator” regarding:

  • Overbilling
  • Late / non-payment of franchise fees
  • Fines/penalties

From Jacksonville to Kendall, with stops along the way in Orlando and Punta Gorda, if Waste Management got dinged, I’m going to do my best to find that out.

[cleeng_content id=”826332408″ description=”Why stop now? It’s just getting interesting!” price=”0.99″ referral=”0.10″]Unfortunately, not all cities have been helpful in my sojourn for truth.

Such was the case in Hollywood, who demanded $180 (four hours of IT time to make copies of written correspondence) for their records.  Needless to say, I blew a gasket and took my complaint to their legal department.

And that’s a story worth sharing…

If you want a chuckle, follow along with my emails to the Assistant City Attorney (Breath, Cock Esquire) — here’s a teaser:

Is there a city ordinance for medical marijuana? ‘Cause I am thinking you folks are baked.

Glad I am an expert at this stuff, as less informed citizens would have gotten butt f***ed by your city’s stupidity.

[pwal id=”13922089″ description=””]

Mr. Fallik;

Good afternoon.

As you have been copied on some PRR emails, I am officially taking exception with your City’s position to charge me $45/hr for an IT person to secure written documentation.

Documentation that does not require any redaction.

My position is simple. Why do I need to pay a $90,000/yr individual to perform clerical services.

I want photocopies of some letters, not a website.

Kindly help me resolve this ridiculous proposal.


Chaz Stevens,


Dear Mr. Stevens:

First of all, it is not my responsibllity [sic] to try to resolve the disagreement between you and the City arising out of your recent public records request. I am a full-time attorney for the City, and in that capacity, I support my client to the fullest extent that I can.

Having established my role in this matter, I note that your request is confusing. Initially you requested electronic copies of certain correspondence. Now you say you want photocopies. Perhaps you should decide exactly what you want and then let us know.

If you decide that you do, in fact, want electronic copies, then Mr. Hernandez’s response is appropriate and fully consistent with Florida’s Public Records Laws.

Alan Fallik
Deputy City Attorney
2600 Hollywood Blvd.
Hollywood, FL 33020
(telephone) (954) 921-3435
(facsimile) (954) 921-3081

Mr. Deputy City Attorney;

Thanks for the lesson in “specificity.”

My wording is flustered due to your City’s ludicrous position it takes a $45/hr IT staffer to find/secure physical documents. If that doesn’t make you tongue-tied, then I don’t know what will.

You’ve guys run that town into the shitter, don’t try to make me singlehandedly a profit center.

Kindly provide me with your ordinance that sets forth the charges and procedures for IT services.



Dear Mr. Stevens:

The City does not have an ordinance that sets forth the charges and procedures for IT services. The charges and procedures are based on Chapter 119, Florida Statutes, of which you claim to be knowledgeable, and the rate of pay of the individual would be conducting the search.

More importantly, your latest e-mails seem to say that you are seeking only hard copies of records, so I do not know why we are still discussing IT. If you will confirm that you are asking only for records that currently exist in hard copies and that you are not seeking records that exist only in electronic form, we will respond appropriately to that modified request.

Alan Fallik


Mr. Attorney

Is there an ordinance for medical marijuana? ‘Cause I am thinking you folks are baked.

If you follow my emails, for which you seemed to hold in disdain, from the beginning I questioned the need for an IT guy.

Your communication staffer was firm in his demand.

Glad I am an expert at this stuff, as less informed citizens would have gotten butt f***ed by your city’s stupidity.

This email confirms my need for written communication between WM and Hollywood. this is my 5th such request.

This message was sent from a mobile device. Apologies in advance for any typographical and/or grammatical errors.


Mr. Fallik;

One other point.

I am assuming you are familiar with the prestigious Florida First Amendment Foundation?  I am one of the very few citizens in Florida who have been appointed to the First Amendment Foundation brigade.

(Say hello to President Barbara Petersen… I’ve included her in these emails — for her amusement).

Rest assured, I am very capable when it comes to understanding Florida Statute 119.  It ain’t rocket science (and I once worked for NASA, so I know rocket science when I see it).

Chaz Stevens

Chaz Stevens

Professional Troublemaker
Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.
Chaz Stevens


According to John Stewart, I am the General Patton of the War on Xmas. Father, Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole. Professional troublemaker.
A welcome to the new City Manager in L Lakes -- Mr. Kelvin Baker Sr. http://t.co/EHk4zRrxfu - 4 months ago
Chaz Stevens