We got ourselves a criminal two-fer. How fabulous!


A clever fellow emailed me the following thought, “If you nail :HR:, you will bag :LW: for free.”

And speaking of crooked motherf***ers, check out these emails.

From: Jonathan Allen
Date: September 27, 2011 9:18:17 AM EDT

Mayor & Commission

Attached for your review is a copy of the audit report of the City of Lauderdale Lakes that was prepared by The Florida Legislature Joint Legislative Auditing Committee. The State audit was performed at the request of State Representative Hazelle Rogers at no cost to the City.

At your convenience, please review the summary of issues and recommendations provided by the Florida Legislature Joint Legislative Auditing Committee. The overall report findings seem to be positive and confirm that the City of Lauderdale Lakes is moving in the right direction to improve its financial condition. See the State Representative’s email below.

Good Morning Mr. Allen:

Attached for your information is a copy of the response from the Joint Legislative Auditing Committee to my request for an audit of the city. Congratulations on a fine audit. Based on our conversation, I am confident the city is on the right path to recovery.

Representative Hazelle P. Rogers
Florida House of Representatives, District 94

:JA: informs his commission that a “copy of the audit report of the City of Lauderdale Lakes” was available for review and the “audit” was done at no charge to the city.

He’s being untruthful, as the LAC clearly states their work was NOT AN AUDIT. Hell, even Rogers got onto the “it’s an audit bandwagon.”

It wasn’t an audit.  Please stop lying, you shitheels.

2011 was kind to Allen, as the LAC took a mulligan, thereby missing the city’s $4.8M deficit and two declared State of Emergencies. Oh, and Rogers didn’t call for an audit.


Not so, right?

So why didn’t Rogers step up to the plate and demand an audit?

Was she too involved in the CRA and the contract with Stephens Construction?

Was she looking to avoid more scrutiny on her $50,000 worth of problems – by cutting Allen and his cronies a break?

However, we opine there’s only so much smoothing one can do when polishing a turd.

To wit:

  1. You can run, but she can’t hide from the $2.5M CRA issue
  2. Two …er… one word. Unifest.  That was her baby (and quite the boondoggle)
  3. Let us recall those contracts with the Lauderdale Lakes Mall and Broward Meat and Fish. Hey, wasn’t she a lobbyist for the City?  Any clue what her fee was?


And don’t get us started on poor old Kessler International.  She, and others, helped kill their efforts to root out the bullshit.

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Chaz Stevens

Chaz Stevens

Professional Troublemaker
Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has been appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.
Chaz Stevens


According to John Stewart, I am the General Patton of the War on Xmas. Father, Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole. Professional troublemaker.
It's election season, so that must mean Daniel Sohn's running again! http://t.co/EsYNiSJ82S - 7 hours ago
Chaz Stevens