Holiday is nearly upon us.

small_my-first-condoms

To: Lauderdale Lakes Staff
CC: Broward County Commission
Broward State Attorney’s Office
Broward Office of Inspector General

via email

Here at MAOS, we’ve been thinking, what can we get :JA: as the perfect holiday gift…

We’re running out of ideas as:

  1. The criminal investigation by the Miami Dade SAO is drawing to a head (pun!).
  2. The Broward County Commission has decided to unleash the Kraken and times are going to get tough.
  3. We believe Senator Chris Smith will follow Senator Eleanor Sobel‘s lead and demand an audit of the CRA.

See our dilemma?  All the good gifts are taken.

I guess, all that’s left is a box of condoms (given Allen’s proclivity to bang/noodle/spork the office staff).

However, we’re had no luck finding any in his size (medium youth).

Any hints?

Happy Holiday.


Chaz Stevens

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Chaz Stevens

Chaz Stevens

Professional Troublemaker
Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has been appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.
Chaz Stevens

@TweetsByMAOS

According to John Stewart, I am the General Patton of the War on Xmas. Father, Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole. Professional troublemaker.
Caryl Berner has a CostCo-sized boner crush on me. http://t.co/Gy2BWbZOFm - 4 hours ago
Chaz Stevens