Ada Graham-Johnson, City Clerk
Brenda Snipes, Supervisor of Elections
Madam City Clerk and Dr. Snipes.
I’ve decided to follow along in the footsteps of dick-torial candidate Jean Robb by installing additional ballot drop boxes at various locations around town. With that, I have a few questions:
- I have secured about 30 cardboard boxes. Which is preferred — corrugated or recycled?
- I believe a lock, well really, any security for that matter, may act as a “deterrent” for voting. Therefore, my ballot drop boxes won’t be secured in any fashion — open both to the elements and to society at large.
- My marketing team has suggested a Drop Your Election Ballot Off Tequila Party. We’re thinking, drop off one vote, get a shot. Two votes, two shots. And so forth. You’ll win a “I Hate Chaz Stevens” by Sylvia Poitier t-shirt with your fifth vote!!!
- We’re also pondering the idea of printing up ballots — just in case you, well, find yourself short on cash, at our party, and want to have a couple of drinks. Can you kindly send me camera ready artwork?
- What’s the best way to surreptitiously open up ballots? Is there a way to tell who voted for Noland, or that Robb fellow? Cough cough. Not that we’d do that, mind you.
- Finally, we’re thinking of charging our hosts a fee for this service. Any thoughts here? We’re having a hard time putting a reasonable price on freedom and democracy.
On behalf of my team, we’re really looking forward to helping out this election, being a small part of the Snipes Army! I think there’s a good future in “private voting officials.”
As they say “vote early”. And now, at selected locations in Deerfield Beach, we offer voting often.