Open Letter to the Coconut Creek City Commission

fart

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. Chaz is foul mouthed, incendiary, radioactive, and there’s no way you’d be seen with me out in public.

Perfect! As I rarely take meetings.

On the other hand, I’m the new way of doing the activism business. I own the court of public opinion, I rule on the social medium, and thousands and thousands and thousands of people come to visit my blog. I’ve got guest columns in the local press, powerful people take my calls, and I have WAY MORE INFLUENCE than you could ever imagine.

I am not your Daddy’s blogger.

Here’s the mistake you’ll make — you’ll think, there’s no way anyone could pay attention to him, I mean who could take seriously the guy who drops so many f-bombs. You’ll want to avoid me, ignore me, and pay me no mind.

Teaser alert: I just worked hand-in-hand with the Department of Justice to secure a $50,000 civil fine against Pastor Anthony Davis.

But here’s the thing — we both want the same thing — a nice town for our kids and doggies, we just go about it different ways.

Quite simply … you’re a c*** and I’m not.

When the WashPo interviewed me, they asked, “Do you worry about your credibility.” I told them, I have pictures of ladies shoes, next to nerdy technical complaints filed with the Feds, next to fart jokes. I’ve never once worried about my credibility. When the FBI calls, they want to talk about the nuts and bolts of my complaints. They see thru the fluff, that fluff is an intentional distraction.

I am quizzing you — are you smart enough to get to the message, and ignore the messenger?

In the end, the audience I write for is me, and me alone. Don’t get me wrong, damn happy to have you along for the ride, but I can’t appease everyone, so I worry about appeasing myself.

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Chaz Stevens

Chaz Stevens

Professional Troublemaker
Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has been appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.
Chaz Stevens

@TweetsByMAOS

According to John Stewart, I am the General Patton of the War on Xmas. Father, Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole. Professional troublemaker.
The Horrible State of the Lauderdale Lakes Union. http://t.co/QGy2m8VAno - 3 days ago
Chaz Stevens