Greed wants much, avarice everything.

bazooka-rocket

Dear City of Deerfield Beach;

At last night’s Commission meeting, it seems a local resident, looking to squeeze out every sheckel of the rehab dollars (well drained), demanded granite counter tops be installed in her home.

According to this thief, sorry I mean bamboozler, it’s in the city’s code.

So, given the sheer audacity of this request (chutzpa to my Jewish buddies),  I’d like the taxpayer to supply me with the following:

  1. A dozen hookers, a case of condoms, and some penicillin.
  2. The 2014 Porsche 911 Turbo Cab (in Guard’s Red of course).
  3. Contract hitman on retainer.
  4. Free table dances for my homeys.
  5. A bazooka.
  6. Huge bazookas for my girlfriend.

Kindly have Mr. Andy Maurodis review the City’s Charter.  I’m sure all of this is covered.

* For those not in the know, this resident has received nearly six figures in rehab money.  Six f***ing figures, and still it is not enough.

Expert SEO Consulting - More Traffic. Better Results.

Every day we deliver new customers to businesses through our proven search engine optimization and pay-per-click marketing strategies. Our strategies have helped businesses, large and small, reach in-market consumers, making a true impact on the bottom line.

More Traffic. Increased Qualified Leads. Maximized Budget Dollars.

We’re here to help educate you about search marketing and choose a strategy that’s right for you and your business. We’re constantly researching, testing, connecting, and finding other ways to stay on top of this always-changing industry so we can offer the best, most relevant advice to help you succeed.

SEO. Social Media Consulting. Improving Website Results.

The blueprint for online success is simple. We do the heavy lifting while you focus on what matters most, your customers!

Drop us a line and let's see if we can take your business to the next level.

Chaz Stevens

Chaz Stevens

Professional Troublemaker
Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has been appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.
Chaz Stevens

@TweetsByMAOS

According to John Stewart, I am the General Patton of the War on Xmas. Father, Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole. Professional troublemaker.
New Times: Festivus Pole in Florida Capitol: This Year, a "Rainbow Gay Edition" http://t.co/0Nofd4fbf1 - 4 hours ago
Chaz Stevens