Dear City of Deerfield Beach;
At last night’s Commission meeting, it seems a local resident, looking to squeeze out every sheckel of the rehab dollars (well drained), demanded granite counter tops be installed in her home.
According to this thief, sorry I mean bamboozler, it’s in the city’s code.
So, given the sheer audacity of this request (chutzpa to my Jewish buddies), I’d like the taxpayer to supply me with the following:
- A dozen hookers, a case of condoms, and some penicillin.
- The 2014 Porsche 911 Turbo Cab (in Guard’s Red of course).
- Contract hitman on retainer.
- Free table dances for my homeys.
- A bazooka.
- Huge bazookas for my girlfriend.
Kindly have Mr. Andy Maurodis review the City’s Charter. I’m sure all of this is covered.
* For those not in the know, this resident has received nearly six figures in rehab money. Six f***ing figures, and still it is not enough.