Find out what John Grassi-Ass and a feather-duster butt plug have in common.

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Well, it seems that “businessman extraordinaire” (more about this in a moment) John Grassi-Ass has been reaching out to former F***tards Deerfield Beach City Managers (Larry The Racist Deetjen and Mike F***ing Mahaney).

In an email, retrieved courtesy of a public records request, Grassi-Ass writes:

August 19, 2012

Hello Mike and Larry,

Its a mess down here and now this so called city manager that was under both of you has come out in this article below the fitch report.

Wish you all would bring some light to what is going on down here.

Regards,
John Grassi
954-678-8418

Before we get to why no one should pay any mind to those nut sacks, we note the following odd bit of life as we know it.

Odd as in creepy.

For those folks in the audience who practice safe sex, does it make you feel comfortable knowing Grassi-Ass might one day be all that’s preventing you from catching syphilis and/or making a few extra babies?

Yeah, us neither.

Pass the Pure Anal Purell…

Googling Grassi-Ass’s phone number reveals the following Craigslist’s advertisement:

Condom Factory – Craigslist
Aug 17, 2013 – Condom Factory (South Florida). I am looking for financial partners that are interested in helping me build a multi million dollar condom facility.

John -954-678-8418

To those who are seriously f***ing baked and pondering the idea of becoming a potential Grassi-Ass financial partner, consider this:

  1. Intellectually speaking, not much separates that turd from a feather duster butt plug.
  2. Grassi-Ass declared bankruptcy, screwing his creditors out of $750k’ish.
  3. He once had a networth of $550 — a princely sum for such an international businessman / rockstar.

***

And to the point about Mahaney … in a little over two years, he nuked our monetary reserve from $23 million to about $9 million.

F*** him.

With regards to Deetjen, I note that idiot’s proposal of a walking trail along the Hillsboro Canal (idea died from utter stupidity) and the $1 million Mango Festival From Hell.

And f*** him.

And the horse that looks like Lynne Deetjen.

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Chaz Stevens

Chaz Stevens

Professional Troublemaker
Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has been appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.
Chaz Stevens

@TweetsByMAOS

According to John Stewart, I am the General Patton of the War on Xmas. Father, Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole. Professional troublemaker.
The Horrible State of the Lauderdale Lakes Union. http://t.co/QGy2m8VAno - 2 days ago
Chaz Stevens