Jesus, grab the wheel! I’m too drunk to post.

betsy-festivus

So apparently, my ending the War on Christmas (you lost f***er) hasn’t resonated well with certain folks (AKA the whiners AKA the Catholics AKA Pedophile U).

Too bad, so sad! Grab a bottle of whiskey, suck it down, and then give Jesus a call! Let him be your co-pilot.

Editor’s Note: those just awakening from a coma will note Chaz single-handedly ended Deerfield’s 25 year tradition of putting a manger on public property during the Holidays.

You see, this really isn’t a “win” for me, rather it’s a win for the US Constitution.

Yeah, I hear you … there’s no such thing as Church and State…Funny words, coming from people who base their entire existence on something that doesn’t exist.

So I say to you…

F*** off. You’re the same type of twit that wants to teach religion in school (as long as it’s your religion).

Ask yourself this…

What’s the big deal with moving the Jesus Hotel just three blocks south to St. Ambrose (aka Pedophile U)?

***

Ive heard folks around town will be putting a manger on their front lawn!

Perfect I say!

Now you get exactly the point I’ve been making for years. Glad to have you on my team. Now donate!

* Well, outside of believing in some mythical creature who doesn’t exist, but that’s another post all-together.

***

PS Just kidding about being drunk.  I’ve not had an alcoholic beverage in ages.

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Chaz Stevens

Chaz Stevens

Professional Troublemaker
Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has been appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.
Chaz Stevens

@TweetsByMAOS

According to John Stewart, I am the General Patton of the War on Xmas. Father, Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole. Professional troublemaker.
The Horrible State of the Lauderdale Lakes Union. http://t.co/QGy2m8VAno - 3 days ago
Chaz Stevens