Successfully navigating AA’s atheistic waters.

Every Hour is Happy Hour

My name is Dirk Diggler Chaz and I’m an alcoholic.

It appears to me that there are two types of folks in AA. There are those who want to stay sober, and those who want a religious experience. Call me biased, but it seems those in for the religious experience frequently fall off the wagon, and then take a certain pride in coming back from a bender, claiming their relapse on a seperation from their higher power.

Don’t blame the whiskey or pills … it’s cause I stopped listening to Valhalla.

These stupid f***ers remind me of evangelists who confess their sins, pointing the finger at Satan. Seldom do they admit to acting irresponsibly.

Blame the Vulcan looking f***er and not me!

According to AA founder Bill Wilson, you need to find a power greater than you.

“We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God.”

Poppycock. That’s just a cheap ploy for membership. Wilson’s intention is to coax the reader into agreeing to believe in Bill’s god. Your own conception of god is not really what counts here, as Bill’s god is what matters most.

Wilson designed the program to be as palatable as possible, with the lofty goal of religious conversion first, and sobriety falling a distant second.

Though himself dead for a few decades, his AA program continues, structured on his ideas from the Oxford Group (a religious organization he belonged to prior to starting AA). Both groups are based on a religious conversion. Wilson’s Big Book is not about how to quit drinking, in fact nowhere in the book does it actually instruct the reader to stop drinking. It does tell the reader (if he doubts his alcoholism) to go to the nearest bar and order a drink.

How’s that going to help one’s sobriety?

Time and again, AA falls back to one “finding their higher power” — be that God, a door knob, or the tree out back. Whatever the case, there’s a profound emphasis on spirituality. And for most people in the program, spirituality and religion are one in the same.

For me, having to find a higher power in order to get sober seems to be dealing with the problem of alcoholism in a rather unproductive way. I think it actually prevents some of the spiritually minded from coming to grips with their alcoholism, as it focuses on an unrelated issue. Of course, the religious members would disagree, and would explain away their failure at sobriety as a failure to live up to god’s expectations. I’ve seen that attitude first hand on several occasions.

Not that I disagree with AA entirely. I firmly believe that abstinence is the only sensible solution for those with a serious alcohol problem, and I also believe that a life long commitment to sobriety will lead to personal fulfillment and periods of genuine serenity, provided a person is not suffering from some sort of chemical imbalance. For me, drinking became more work than the worst job I ever had.  After many years of sobriety, I am convinced that abstinence for alcoholics is the “easier, softer way”.

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Chaz Stevens

Chaz Stevens

Professional Troublemaker
Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has been appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.
Chaz Stevens


According to John Stewart, I am the General Patton of the War on Xmas. Father, Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole. Professional troublemaker.
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Chaz Stevens
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